This is the last Email I’ll send you

The day you’ve all been waiting for

Wow, finally, relief from reading Margot’s emails. It must feel good to be finally free from the pressure of appeasing me. Jokes aside, this is probably the last email you’ll ever get from me. As you may or may not know, this Saturday is my last day working here at Jerico after 6 years of tormenting you all. I gotta say, we had a good run. If we haven’t had a chance to say farewell, you can catch me at WAAC this Saturday early in the day, maybe throw a piece of candy at me or wave distantly from an open window (is that how this works?)

While I’m moving away, I may be lurking in the digital shadows many miles away helping Krystal with some work that I won’t bore you over the details with. Needless to say, I’m always watching (not sure why the tone of this email is so ominous, is this a coping strategy?)

Here’s exactly what I think you should do now that I’m gone

• Pet Jeri more often. I’m worried he might be becoming a bit of a bad boy from all the baby animal murders he’s committed, so he needs all the affection he can get.

• I like really, really, really think you should participate in the September Jerico Faire. Spite me by making it the most Resident attended faire the moment I’m gone. But you have to sign up by July 29th. Do it right now here.

• Call Jeb by any name other than Jeb. Jebbers, Jebberoni, Jebra, Jebothy, Scooter. He really likes it. But also say it in a nice way. He works very hard.

• Help Krystal out and keep her in the loop about your event happenings. Believe it or not, I’ve been lurking over all your pages to add your events to our calendar for years. Our audience is constantly asking to know what you’re up to and wants to attend your events. I made a way you can super easily share that info with us to put on our calendar with as minimal effort as possible. Check it out.

• Maybe check out this private Residents area we made you guys on our website for secrets to the universe. There’s even a 16hr long audio recording of my personal monologue (maybe). It’s actually extremely helpful. There’s a button in the website footer always for access. The password is
  E-mu****Emulator!

• Buy Krystal a coffee every once in a while, but like in a casual way when she’s not looking. She likes cortados and iced matcha and something called a shake and wake that Megan makes.
  

Some other announcements that you should know that have nothing to do with me anymore

• Chafe Hensley will be creating a mural at Jerico on the south end of the South building. He’ll be working on it from July 24th - August 7th. His work area will take up some parking spaces along the building there, otherwise, check it out and feel free to help us document his progress. Big mural reveal party on August 11th!

• Jeb will be done with the rooftop patio project for Traeger by July 17th. He’s been working a LOT on this so feel free to give him a high five or a beer when you come across him. Or at least like a prayer hands emoji via text.
  

That’s it

Thanks for hopefully reading this. You are all very special people. Thanks for being a big part of my life over the years!